Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of July, 2023

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young soldier from Munich Whose penis hung down...
There was a young soldier from Munich Whose penis hung down past his tunic, And their chops girls would lick When they thought of his prick, But alas! he was only a eunuch.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door...
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. -- Paul Beatty

The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every...
The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every Jewish child, was propounded to me by my father: "What is it that hangs on the wall, is green, wet -- and whistles?" I knit my brow and thought and thought, and...

"... gentlemen do not read each other's mail." ...
"... gentlemen do not read each other's mail." -- Secretary of State Henry Stimson, on closing down the Black Chamber, the precursor to the National Security Agency.

Stop! Whoever crosseth the bridge of Death, must answer...
Stop! Whoever crosseth the bridge of Death, must answer first these questions three, ere the other side he see! "What is your name?" "Sir Brian of Bell." "What is your quest?" "I seek...