Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2023

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."

There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients...
There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients alone. In a fit of depravity He filled the wrong cavity, And my, how his practice has grown!

There once was a horny old bitch With a motorized self-frigger...
There once was a horny old bitch With a motorized self-frigger which She would use with delight All day long and all night - Twenty bucks: Abercrombie & Fitch.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.

Corruption is not the \#1 priority of the Police Commissioner...
Corruption is not the \#1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job is to enforce the law and fight crime. -- P.B.A. President E. J. Kiernan

OK, so you're a Ph.D. Just don't touch anything.
OK, so you're a Ph.D. Just don't touch anything.

Technological progress has merely provided us with more...
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. -- Aldous Huxley

A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose...
A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling the president one of the latest talking computers. Salesman: "This machine knows everything. I can ask it any question and it'll give the correct answer...

QOTD: "I sprinkled some baking powder over...
QOTD: "I sprinkled some baking powder over a couple of potatoes, but it didn't work."