Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of September, 2023

It always delights me at Hank's To walk up the old river...
It always delights me at Hank's To walk up the old river banks. One time in the grass I stepped on an ass, And heard a young girl murmur, "Thanks."

There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen...
There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen to play. Along came a Spyder, Who sat down beside her And she blew the poor bastard away.

There once was a whore from Regina Who had a stupendous...
There once was a whore from Regina Who had a stupendous vagina. To save herself time, She had six at a time, And another one working behind her.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ...
... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ...

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

E Pluribus Unix
E Pluribus Unix

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there...
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones

A bad little girl in Madrid, A most reprehensible kid, ...
A bad little girl in Madrid, A most reprehensible kid, Told her Tante Louise That her cunt smelled like cheese, And the worst of it was that it did!

A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking...
A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking quite glum, And said, "Bother the fish! I'd rather coish!" Which they did -- which was why they had come.