Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday January 14, 2025

"Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'".
"Death is nature's way of saying `Howdy'".

Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.

Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering.
Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering.

Win98 error 003: Illegal ASM instruction. If your modem worked...
Win98 error 003: Illegal ASM instruction. If your modem worked properly, the FBI would have been called.

(6) Men employees will be given time off each week...
(6) Men employees will be given time off each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church. (7) After an employee has spent his thirteen hours of labor in the office, he should spend the remaining time reading...

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain...
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain. -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love"

XXXI: The optimum committee has no members. XXXII: ...
XXXI: The optimum committee has no members. XXXII: Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of turning problems into gold -- your problems into their gold. XXXIII: Fools rush in where incumbents fear...

XXXVI: The thickness of the proposal required to win...
XXXVI: The thickness of the proposal required to win a multimillion dollar contract is about one millimeter per million dollars. If all the proposals conforming to this standard were piled on top of each other at the bottom of the Grand...

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll...
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. -- Snoopy

You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic...
You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic is that the Titanic had paying customers.