Freebsd Fortunes 3

ARIES (Mar.21 - Apr.19)
        You are a wonderfully interesting, honest, hard-working person
        and you should make many new friends, but you won't because you've
        got a mean streak in you a mile wide.

ARITHMETIC:
        An obscure art no longer practiced in
        the world's developed countries.

Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
                -- Mickey Mouse

ARMADILLO:
        To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh
autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet
Union.
                -- P.J. O'Rourke

Armor's Axiom:
        Virtue is the failure to achieve vice.

Armstrong's Collection Law:
        If the check is truly in the mail,
        it is surely made out to someone else.

Arnold's Addendum:
        Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.

Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
        1.) If it should exist, it doesn't.
        2.) If it does exist, it's out of date.
        3.) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the
            first two laws.

Around the turn of this century, a composer named Camille Saint-Saens wrote
a satirical zoological-fantasy called "Le Carnaval des Animaux."  Aside from
one movement of this piece, "The Swan", Saint-Saens didn't allow this work
to be published or even performed until a year had elapsed after his death.
(He died in 1921.)
        Most of us know the "Swan" movement rather well, with its smooth,
flowing cello melody against a calm background; but I've been having this
fantasy...
        What if he had written this piece with lyrics, as a song to be sung?
And, further, what if he had accompanied this song with a musical saw?  (This
instrument really does exist, often played by percussionists!)  Then the
piece would be better known as:
        SAINT-SAENS' SAW SONG "SWAN"!