Freebsd Fortunes 3

Ever feel like life was a game and you had the wrong instruction book?

Ever feel like you're the head pin on life's
bowling alley, and everyone's rolling strikes?

Ever get the feeling that the world's
on tape and one of the reels is missing?
                -- Rich Little

Ever notice that even the busiest people are
never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

Ever notice that the word "therapist" breaks down into "the rapist"?
Simple coincidence?
Maybe...

Ever Onward!  Ever Onward!
That's the sprit that has brought us fame.
We're big but bigger we will be,
We can't fail for all can see, that to serve humanity
Has been our aim.
Our products now are known in every zone.
Our reputation sparkles like a gem.
We've fought our way thru
And new fields we're sure to conquer, too
For the Ever Onward IBM!
                -- Ever Onward, from the 1940 IBM Songbook

Ever Onward!  Ever Onward!
We're bound for the top to never fall,
Right here and now we thankfully
Pledge sincerest loyalty
To the corporation that's the best of all
Our leaders we revere and while we're here,
Let's show the world just what we think of them!
So let us sing men -- Sing men
Once or twice, then sing again
For the Ever Onward IBM!
                -- Ever Onward, from the 1940 IBM Songbook

Ever since I was a young boy,
I've hacked the ARPA net,
From Berkeley down to Rutgers,          He's on my favorite terminal,
Any access I could get,                 He cats C right into foo,
But ain't seen nothing like him,        His disciples lead him in,
On any campus yet,                      And he just breaks the root,
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,         Always has full SYS-PRIV's,
Sure sends a mean packet.               Never uses lint,
                                        That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
                                        Sure sends a mean packet.
He's a UNIX wizard,
There has to be a twist.
The UNIX wizard's got                   Ain't got no distractions,
Unlimited space on disk.                Can't hear no whistles or bells,
How do you think he does it?            Can't see no message flashing,
I don't know.                           Types by sense of smell,
What makes him so good?                 Those crazy little programs,
                                        The proper bit flags set,
                                        That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
                                        Sure sends a mean packet.
                -- UNIX Wizard

Ever wonder if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?

Ever wonder why fire engines are red?

Because newspapers are read too.
Two and Two is four.
Four and four is eight.
Eight and four is twelve.
There are twelve inches in a ruler.
Queen Mary was a ruler.
Queen Mary was a ship.
Ships sail the sea.
There are fishes in the sea.
Fishes have fins.
The Fins fought the Russians.
Russians are red.
Fire engines are always rush'n.
Therefore fire engines are red.