Freebsd Fortunes 3

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't,
and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

half-done, n:
        This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still crunchy,
        light green, yet full of garlic flavor.  The difference between this
        and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the
        difference between life and death.

        You may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill there
        in Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the airport,
        fly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough Hall,
        transfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on
        Essex (along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk
        about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop.  Say to the
        man, "Let me have a nice half-done."  Worth the trouble, wasn't it?
                -- Arthur Naiman

Halley's Comet: It came, we saw, we drank.

Hall's Laws of Politics:
        (1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending.
        (2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want
            something fixed.
        (3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend
            military spending, and conservatives social spending in
            their own districts).

hand, n:
        A singular instrument worn at the end of a human
        arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Handel's Proverb:
        You can't produce a baby in one month by impregnating 9 women!

handshaking protocol, n:
        A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initiate a
        terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
        occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.
                -- Pink Floyd

hangover, n:
        The wrath of grapes.

Hanlon's Razor:
        Never attribute to malice
        that which is adequately explained by stupidity.