Freebsd Fortunes 3

Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity.  It
eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the
business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation."
                -- Johnny Hart

CYNIC:
        Experienced.

CYNIC:
        One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.

Cynic, n:
        A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
        not as they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the
        Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of us died of tuberculosis.
                -- Jack Handey

DALLAS:
        The city that chose Astroturf to
        keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

Dallas still lives.  God MUST be dead.

Dammit Jim, I'm an actor not a doctor.

"Dammit, man, that's unprofessional!  A good bartender laughs anyway!"

Damn braces.
                -- William Blake, "Proverbs of Hell"