Freebsd Fortunes 3

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA.
The remainder is thrown out.

Republicans usually wear hats and almost always clean their paint brushes.

Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.
Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.

Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car
windows by Democrats.
                -- Paul Dickson, "The Official Rules"

Dental health is next to mental health.

Dentist:
        A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth,
        pulls coins out of one's pockets.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Denver, n:
        A smallish city located just below the `O' in Colorado.

Depart in pieces, i.e., split.

Depart not from the path which fate has assigned you.

Department chairmen never die, they just lose their faculties.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will,
but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.
                -- R.E. Shay

Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.

Der Horizont vieler Menschen ist ein Kreis mit Radius Null -
und das nennen sie ihren Standpunkt.