Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday January 3, 2020

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men...
A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men was well-versed. Reads the sign o'er the head Of her well-rumpled bed "The customer always comes first."

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's okay, but the mole's ill.

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!