Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday April 12, 2020

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."

The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds...
The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up...
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down. -- Collis P. Huntingdon, railroad tycoon