Freebsd Fortunes 6

The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.
                -- G.B. Shaw

The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic.  It showed that
two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated
by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.
                -- I.F. Stone

The two things that can get you into trouble
quicker than anything else are fast women and slow horses.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more
annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
                -- Oscar Wilde

The, uh, snowy mountains are like really cold, eh?
And the, um, plains stretch out like my moms girdle, eh?
There's lotsa beers and doughnuts for everyone, eh?
So the last one to be peaceful and everything is a big idiot,
Eh?
So shut yer face up and dry yer mucklucks by the fire, eh?
And dream about girls with their high beams on, eh?
They may be cold, but that's okay!  Beer's better that way!
Eh?
                -- A, like, Tribute to the Great White North, eh?
Beauty!

The ultimate game show will be the one
where somebody gets killed at the end.
                -- Chuck Barris, creator of "The Gong Show"

The unfacts, did we have them, are too
imprecisely few to warrant out certitude.

The United States Army; 194 years of proud service, unhampered by progress.

The universe is all a spin-off of the Big Bang.

The universe is an island,
surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds universes.