Freebsd Fortunes 6

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish.
You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.
                -- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul

The world needs more people like us and fewer like them.

The world really isn't any worse.
It's just that the news coverage is so much better.

The world wants to be deceived.
                -- Sebastian Brant

The world will end in 5 minutes.  Please log out.

The world's as ugly as sin,
And almost as delightful
                -- Frederick Locker-Lampson

The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars,
nor its great scholars great men.
                -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

The Worst American Poet
        Julia Moore, "the Sweet Singer of Michigan" (1847-1920) was so bad that
Mark Twain said her first book gave him joy for 20 years.
        Her verse was mainly concerned with violent death -- the great fire
of Chicago and the yellow fever epidemic proved natural subjects for her
pen.
        Whether death was by drowning, by fits or by runaway sleigh, the
formula was the same:
                Have you heard of the dreadful fate
                Of Mr. P.P. Bliss and wife?
                Of their death I will relate,
                And also others lost their life
                (in the) Ashbula Bridge disaster,
                Where so many people died.
        Even if you started out reasonably healthy in one of Julia's poems,
the chances are that after a few stanzas you would be at the bottom of a
river or struck by lightning.  A critic of the day said she was "worse than
a Gatling gun" and in one slim volume counted 21 killed and 9 wounded.
        Incredibly, some newspapers were critical of her work, even
suggesting that the sweet singer was "semi-literate".  Her reply was
forthright: "The Editors that has spoken in this scandalous manner have went
beyond reason."  She added that "literary work is very difficult to do".
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE

During the firemen's strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over
emergency firefighting and on 14 January they were called out by an
elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped
up a tree.  They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their
duty.  So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea.
Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat
and killed it.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of
Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors.  They
had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,
sheepishly left the building.
A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of
robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.  When they demanded
5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it
was a practical joke.
Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor
clutching his ankle.  The other two tried to make their getaway, but got
trapped in the revolving doors again.