Freebsd Fortunes 6

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...
                -- Civil War General John Sedgwick, his last
                words, Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, 1864

They [District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there
are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity:

(1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate
        53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a pile and hold a press
        conference where you announce that they have a street value of $850
        million.  These raids never fail, because ALL high schools, including
        brand-new, never-used ones, have at least 53 marijuana cigarettes in
        the lockers.  As far as anyone can tell, the locker factory puts them
        there.
(2) Raid an "adult book store" and hold a press conference where you announce
        you are charging the owner with 850 counts of being a piece of human
        sleaze.  This also never fails, because you always get a conviction.
        A juror at a pornography trial is not about to state for the record
        that he finds nothing obscene about a movie where actors engage in
        sexual activities with live snakes and a fire extinguisher.  He is
        going to convict the bookstore owner, and vote for the death penalty
        just to make sure nobody gets the wrong impression.
                -- Dave Barry, "Pornography"

They don't know how the world is shaped.  And so they give it a shape, and
try to make everything fit it.  They separate the right from the left, the
man from the woman, the plant from the animal, the sun from the moon. They
only want to count to two.
                -- Emma Bull, "Bone Dance"

They don't suffer.  They can't even speak English.
                -- George F. Baer, answering a reporter's
                question about the suffering of starving miners.

They finally got King Midas, I hear.  Gild by association.

They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
                -- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

They just buzzed and buzzed...buzzed.

They say it's the responsibility of the media to look at government --
especially the president -- with a microscope.  I don't argue with that,
but when they use a proctoscope, it's going too far.
                -- Richard Nixon

They seem to have learned the habit of cowering before authority even when
not actually threatened.  How very nice for authority.  I decided not to
learn this particular lesson.
                -- Richard Stallman

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the
system from within.  I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them.  First
we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.

I'm guided by a signal in the heavens.  I'm guided by this birthmark on
my skin.  I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.  First we take Manhattan,
then we take Berlin.

I'd really like to live beside you, baby.  I love your body and your spirit
and your clothes.  But you see that line there moving throug the station?
I told you I told you I told you I was one of those.
                -- Leonard Cohen, "First We Take Manhattan"