Freebsd Fortunes 6

War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
                -- Clemenceau

War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.
                -- Anacreon

WARNING:
        Reading this fortune can affect the dimensionality of your
        mind, change the curvature of your spine, cause the growth
        of hair on your palms, and make a difference in the outcome
        of your favorite war.

WARNING!
        This system is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need!
A special circuit in the computer called a "critical detector" senses the
user's emotional state in terms of how desperate they are to get their program
to run.  The "critical detector" then creates a bug in the program proportional
to the desperation of the user.  Threatening the terminal with violence only
aggravates the situation, causing the program to immediately crash or the
entire system to go down.  Likewise, attempts to use another terminal may cause
it to core dump.  (They all belong to the same LAN.)  Keep cool and say nice
things to the terminal.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.

WARNING!!!
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called "critical detector" senses the
operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he/she is to use the
machine.  The "critical detector" then creates a malfunction proportional
to the desperation of the operator.  Threatening the machine with violence
only aggravates the situation.  Likewise, attempts to use another machine
may cause it to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool
and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.

See also: flog(1), tm(1)

Was there a time when dancers with their fiddles
In children's circuses could stay their troubles?
There was a time they could cry over books,
But time has set its maggot on their track.
Under the arc of the sky they are unsafe.
What's never known is safest in this life.
Under the skysigns they who have no arms
Have cleanest hands, and, as the heartless ghost
Alone's unhurt, so the blind man sees best.
                -- Dylan Thomas, "Was There A Time"

Washington, D.C.   Wasting your money since 1810.

Washington, D.C: Fifty square miles almost completely surrounded by reality.

Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
                -- John F. Kennedy