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Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before
you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew
but weren't sure. But if you're searching for something you don't
already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death.
-- Erma Bombeck
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An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of
making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
-- Ambrose Bierce
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The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try
hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the
burden on the directory assistant.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
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Television -- a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
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Television -- the longest amateur night in history.
-- Robert Carson
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Television has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than
-- Ann Landers
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
-- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs
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Television is now so desperately hungry for material
that it is scraping the top of the barrel.
-- Gore Vidal
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Television only proves that people will look at anything --
rather than each other.