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The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.
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The farther you go, the less you know.
-- Lao Tsu, "Tao Te Ching"
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The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"
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The fashionable drawing rooms of London have always been happy to accept
outsiders -- if only on their own, albeit undemanding terms. That is to
say, artists, so long as they are not too talented, men of humble birth,
so long as they have since amassed several million pounds, and socialists
so long as they are Tories.
-- Christopher Booker
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The faster I go, the behinder I get.
-- Lewis Carroll
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The Fastest Defeat In Chess
The big name for us in the world of chess is Gibaud, a French chess
In Paris during 1924 he was beaten after only four moves by a
Monsieur Lazard. Happily for posterity, the moves are recorded and so
chess enthusiasts may reconstruct this magnificent collapse in the comfort
of their own homes.
Lazard was black and Gibaud white:
1: P-Q4, Kt-KB3
2: Kt-Q2, P-K4
3: PxP, Kt-Kt5
4: P-K6, Kt-K6/
White then resigns on realizing that a fifth move would involve
either a Q-KR5 check or the loss of his queen.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
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The father, passing through his son's college town late one evening on a
business trip, thought he would pay his boy a suprise visit. Arriving at the
lad's fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door. After several minutes
of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window,
"Does Ramsey Duncan live here?" asked the father.
"Yeah," replied the voice. "Dump him on the front porch."
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The feeling persists that no one can simultaneously be a respectable writer
and understand how a refrigerator works, just as no gentleman wears a brown
suit in the city. Colleges may be to blame. English majors are encouraged,
I know, to hate chemistry and physics, and to be proud because they are not
dull and creepy and humorless and war-oriented like the engineers across the
quad. And our most impressive critics have commonly been such English majors,
and they are squeamish about technology to this very day. So it is natural
for them to despise science fiction.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., "Science Fiction"
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The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he
wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
"Hey, buddy," the bartender replied, "you see those two guys next to
you? They used to be with the Chicago Bears. The two dudes behind you made
the U.S. Olympic wrestling team. And for you information, I used to play
center at Notre Dame."
"Forget it," the customer said. "I don't want to explain it five
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"The feminist agenda," Pat Robertson observed in a recent letter to his
supporters, "is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist,
anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their
husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism
and become lesbians."