Freebsd Fortunes 6

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she
knows that the average man can see much better than he can think.
                -- Ladies' Home Journal

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in
the morning feeling just terrible.
                -- Jean Kerr

The average income of the modern teenager is about 2AM.

The average individual's position in any hierarchy is a lot like pulling
a dogsled -- there's no real change of scenery except for the lead dog.

The average nutritional value of promises is roughly zero.

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from
one graveyard to another.
                -- J. Frank Dobie, "A Texan in England"

The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain
disdain; he is anything but her ideal.  In consequence, she cannot help
feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is
their father.
                -- Mencken

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned
into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.
                -- Nelson Algren, "Writers at Work"

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that
carries any reward.
                -- John Maynard Keynes

The bank called to tell me that I'm overdrawn,
Some freaks are burning crosses out on my front lawn,
And I *can't*believe* it, all the Cheetos are gone,
        It's just ONE OF THOSE DAYS!
                -- Weird Al Yankovic, "One of Those Days"