Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday February 27, 2014

Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them...
Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get him.

There was a young girl of Newcastle Whose charms were declared...
There was a young girl of Newcastle Whose charms were declared universal. While one man in front Wired into her cunt, Another was engaged at her arsehole.

One evening Mr. Rudolph Block, of New York, found himself...
One evening Mr. Rudolph Block, of New York, found himself seated at dinner alongside Mr. Percival Pollard, the distinguished critic. "Mr. Pollard," said he, "my book, _The Biography of a Dead Cow_, is published anonymously, but you...

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure...
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match. -- Will Rogers