Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday September 26, 2014

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young man from Bel-Aire Who was screwing his girl...
There was a young man from Bel-Aire Who was screwing his girl on the stair. But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air.

PEGGY FLEMMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies...
PEGGY FLEMMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT.