Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday March 14, 2016

There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace...
There was a young lady from Bristol Who went to the Palace called Crystal. Said she, "It's all glass, And as round as my ass," And she farted as loud as a pistol.

There was a young lady from Brussels Who was proud of...
There was a young lady from Brussels Who was proud of her vaginal muscles. She could easily plex them And so interflex them As to whistle love songs through her bustles.

There was a young lady of Dee Who went down to the river...
There was a young lady of Dee Who went down to the river to pee. A man in a punt Put his hand on her cunt, And God! how I wish it were me.

I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask...
I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask for more, She's deaf and dumb and over-sexed, And owns a liquor store.

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...