Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday March 27, 2016

Proof techniques \#2: Proof by Oddity. SAMPLE: To prove...
Proof techniques \#2: Proof by Oddity. SAMPLE: To prove that horses have an infinite number of legs. (1) Horses have an even number of legs. (2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front. (3) This makes a total of six legs, which...

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only...
There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only one ball, But two little bitches Unbuttoned his britches, And found he had no balls at all.

There was an old girl of Kilkenny Whose usual charge was...
There was an old girl of Kilkenny Whose usual charge was a penny. For half of that sum You could finger her bum-- A source of amusement to many.

A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and B is for biff, which...
A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and B is for biff, which reads all your mail. C is for cc, as hackers recall, while D is for dd, the command that does all. E is for emacs, which rebinds your keys, and F is for fsck, which rebuilds your trees. G...

Scratch the disks, dump the core, Shut it down, pull...
Scratch the disks, dump the core, Shut it down, pull the plug Roll the tapes across the floor, Give the core an extra tug And the system is going to crash. And the system is going to crash. Teletypes smashed to bits...