Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday March 4, 2016

Get GUMMed --- ------ The Gurus of Unix...
Get GUMMed --- ------ The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps. Members will...

A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot ...
A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot Said the two to the tutor: "Is it harder to toot or To tutor two tutors to toot"

There once was a gouty old colonel Who grew glum when...
There once was a gouty old colonel Who grew glum when the weather grew vernal, And he cried in his tiffin For his prick wouldn't stiffen, And the size of the thing was infernal.

A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing...
A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly...

Rocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention: Unless...
Rocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention: Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal.