Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday May 11, 2016

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

A young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll While bent over plucking...
A young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll While bent over plucking a dingle Had the whole of Eisteddfod Taking turns at his pod While they sang some impossible jingle.

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.

There was a young girl from Seattle, Whose hobby was sucking...
There was a young girl from Seattle, Whose hobby was sucking off cattle. But a bull from the South Shot a wad in her mouth That made both her ovaries rattle.

There was a young man of Khartoum, The strength of whose balls...
There was a young man of Khartoum, The strength of whose balls was his doom. So strong was his shootin', The third law of Newton Propelled the poor chap to the Moon.

There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved...
There was a young woman named Sutton Who said, as she carved up the mutton, "My father preferred The last sheep in the herd -- This is one of his children I'm cuttin'."