Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday May 26, 2016

Beggar to well-dressed businessman: "Could...
Beggar to well-dressed businessman: "Could you spare $20.95 for a fifth of Chivas?"

There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were...
There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were cosy--but cannie: A buck for a fuck, Fifty cents for a suck, And a dime for a feel of her fanny.

And here I wait so patiently Waiting to find out what price...
And here I wait so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going thru all of these things twice -- Dylan, "Memphis Blues Again"

"But don't you worry, its for a cause -- feeding global...
"But don't you worry, its for a cause -- feeding global corporations' paws."

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains...
Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive. -- Jay Ward

Business is a good game -- lots of competition and minimum...
Business is a good game -- lots of competition and minimum of rules. You keep score with money. -- Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari

Business will be either better or worse. -- Calvin...
Business will be either better or worse. -- Calvin Coolidge

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas...
But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon...

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those...
By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day...