Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday May 12, 2016

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed...
From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed for miles. Said the rector, "My gracious, Has Father Ignatius Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young dolly named Molly Who thought that to frig...
There was a young dolly named Molly Who thought that to frig was a folly. Said she, "Your pee-pee Means nothing to me, But I'll do it just to be jolly."

There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

There was a young man from Tibet- And this is the strangest...
There was a young man from Tibet- And this is the strangest one yet- Whose tool was so long, So pointed and strong, He could bugger six Greeks "en brochette".

The Macintosh is Xerox technology at its best.
The Macintosh is Xerox technology at its best.

Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings...
Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

"Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX." (By...
"Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX." (By Stephan Zielinski)