Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday September 21, 2021

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling ...
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x"...

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."

There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned...
There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her. One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!