Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of January, 2022

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor...
"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception." -- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

*** NEWSFLASH *** Russian tanks steamrolling through...
*** NEWSFLASH *** Russian tanks steamrolling through New Jersey!!!! Details at eleven!

A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes...
A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled...
After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This...

All science is either physics or stamp collecting...
All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -- E. Rutherford