Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of April, 2022

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

God is Dead -- Nietzsche Nietzsche is Dead ...
God is Dead -- Nietzsche Nietzsche is Dead -- God Nietzsche is God -- The Dead

If God had intended Man to Watch TV, He would have given...
If God had intended Man to Watch TV, He would have given him Rabbit Ears.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Politicians are the same everywhere. They promise to build...
Politicians are the same everywhere. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. -- Nikita Khrushchev

There is only one way to kill capitalism -- by taxes, taxes,...
There is only one way to kill capitalism -- by taxes, taxes, and more taxes. -- Karl Marx

A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm...
A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm a tree." But another, more sane, Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!" And covered his pants leg with pee.

A hearty young fellow named Yost Once had an affair with...
A hearty young fellow named Yost Once had an affair with a ghost. At the height of the spasm The poor ectoplasm Cried, "Goodie, I feel it ... almost."