Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of July, 2022

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was diddling a collie- But I got a nice price for the pups."

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, ...
There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, When she got there Her arsehole was bare, And so was her C U N T.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

If God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys...
If God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys in their Heads.

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

Aliquid melius quam pessimum optimum non est.
Aliquid melius quam pessimum optimum non est.

In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please,...
In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad, To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know, And do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you! --...

Look out! Behind you!
Look out! Behind you!