Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of June, 2022

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.

There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what...
There was a young lady of Kent, Who admitted she knew what it meant When men asked her to dine, And plied her with wine, She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor...
"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception." -- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read...
Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.

If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.

Since I hurt my pendulum My life is all erratic. My parrot,...
Since I hurt my pendulum My life is all erratic. My parrot, who was cordial, Is now transmitting static. The carpet died, a palm collapsed, The cat keeps doing poo. The only thing that keeps me sane Is talking to my shoe. -- My Shoe

The President publicly apologized today to all those offended...
The President publicly apologized today to all those offended by his brother's remark, "There's more Arabs in this country than there is Jews!". Those offended include Arabs, Jews, and English teachers. -- Baltimore, Channel...