Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of December, 2022

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Fucking is...
An Argentine gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Fucking is one thing I do know. Women are fine And sheep are divine But llamas are numero uno."

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.

There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've...
There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've a feeling My little brown jug Has need of a plug" -- And straightaway she started to peeling.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies...
Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/I, I am sure that only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging, cycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster. Allocate an array and free the middle third? Sure! Why not? Multiply...

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with...
We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. ... I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk...

Cold hands, no gloves.
Cold hands, no gloves.

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because...
I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes towards me. I picked them up and rolled...