Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of March, 2022

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is...
There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is the story concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And fondled the cock Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain...
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin, 1759

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed...
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. -- George Bernard Shaw

Every nonzero finite dimensional inner product space has...
Every nonzero finite dimensional inner product space has an orthonormal basis. It makes sense, when you don't think about it.

A commune is where people join together to share their lack...
A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth. -- R. Stallman

Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest...
Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all. -- John Maynard Keynes

I went home with a waitress, The way I always do. How I was...
I went home with a waitress, The way I always do. How I was I to know? She was with the Russians too. I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk. Send lawyers, guns, and money, Dad, get me out of this. -- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers,...