Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2022

There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden...
There once was a Duchess of Beever Who slept with her golden retriever. Said the potted old Duke : "Such tricks make me puke! Were it not for her money, I'd leave her."

There was a young man from Boston Who rode around in...
There was a young man from Boston Who rode around in an Austin. There was room for his ass And a gallon of gas, But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.

This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!
This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!!

'Twas midnight, and the UNIX hacks Did gyre and gimble in their...
'Twas midnight, and the UNIX hacks Did gyre and gimble in their cave All mimsy was the CS-VAX And Cory raths outgrabe. "Beware the software rot, my son! The faults that bite, the jobs that thrash! Beware the broken pipe, and shun The frumious...

"But what we need to know is, do people want...
"But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable computers?"

"Don't say yes until I finish talking." ...
"Don't say yes until I finish talking." -- Darryl F. Zanuck

"I love to eat them Smurfies Smurfies what I love to ...
"I love to eat them Smurfies Smurfies what I love to eat Bite they ugly heads off, Nibble on they bluish feet."

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Ask your boss to reconsider -- it's so difficult to take...
Ask your boss to reconsider -- it's so difficult to take "Go to hell" for an answer.

Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because...
Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.