Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of November, 2022

We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile...
We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you...
"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce" -- Winston Churchill

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Don't suspect your friends -- turn them in! --...
Don't suspect your friends -- turn them in! -- "Brazil"

Innovation is hard to schedule. -- Dan Fylstra
Innovation is hard to schedule. -- Dan Fylstra

I went home with a waitress, The way I always do. How I was...
I went home with a waitress, The way I always do. How I was I to know? She was with the Russians too. I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk. Send lawyers, guns, and money, Dad, get me out of this. -- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers,...

pessimist: A man who spends all his time worrying about...
pessimist: A man who spends all his time worrying about how he can keep the wolf from the door. optimist: A man who refuses to see the wolf until he seizes the seat of his pants. opportunist: A man who invites...

We are the people our parents warned us about.
We are the people our parents warned us about.

We are the unwilling... led by the unqualified... to do...
We are the unwilling... led by the unqualified... to do the unnecessary... for the ungrateful... -- GI in Vietnam, 1970