Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday January 4, 2022

There was a young man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as...
There was a young man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as a crane; It was almost as long, So he strolled with his dong Extended in sunshine and rain.

There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning...
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, But he hadn't the knack, And he got too far back -- In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile...
We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.

A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years...
A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years. -- Harry S. Truman

An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself...
An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself equally in small as in great matters. -- W. Churchill

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national...
Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. -- Herbert Hoover

Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount...
Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls." -- Bill Adler, "The Washington Wits"

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election...
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. -- G.B. Shaw

Democracy is the worst form of government except all those...
Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. -- Winston Churchill