Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday December 21, 2022

There was a young lady named Cager Who, as the result of...
There was a young lady named Cager Who, as the result of a wager, Consented to fart The entire oboe part Of Mozart's quartet in F major.

There was a young lady of Spain Who took down her pants on...
There was a young lady of Spain Who took down her pants on a train. There was a young porter Saw more than he orter, And asked her to do it again.

If the automobile had followed the same development as...
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside. -- Robert Cringely, InfoWorld

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably...
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong. -- Norm Schryer

If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be...
If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same prinicples -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo. Useful feature, that...

If you ever want to have a lot of fun, I recommend that you...
If you ever want to have a lot of fun, I recommend that you go off and program an imbedded system. The salient characteristic of an imbedded system is that it cannot be allowed to get into a state from which only direct intervention will suffice...

Velilind's Laws of Experimentation: (1)...
Velilind's Laws of Experimentation: (1) If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once. (2) If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.