Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday February 17, 2023

A beautiful belle of Del Norte Is reckoned disdainful...
A beautiful belle of Del Norte Is reckoned disdainful and haughty Because during the day She says: "Boys, keep away!" But she fucks in the gloaming like forty.

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald...
A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.

A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as...
A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as a muff. It had room for both hands And some intimate glands, And was soft as a little duck's fluff.

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture...
A pretty young boy known as Kevin Was raped in a pasture by seven Lascivious beasts (Oh, those Anglican priests) And such is the Kingdom of Heaven.

There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients...
There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients alone. In a fit of depravity He filled the wrong cavity, And my, how his practice has grown!

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely...
If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions aren't likely to be very good.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with...
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will...
When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment...
When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.

You will always find something in the last place you look.
You will always find something in the last place you look.

Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.

As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question...
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?