Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday May 5, 2023

Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think...
Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.

There once was a gangster named Brown - the sneakiest bastard...
There once was a gangster named Brown - the sneakiest bastard in town. He was caught by G-men Shooting his semen Where the cops would slip and fall down.

There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled...
There once was a girl named Irene Who lived on distilled kerosene But she started absorbin' A new hydrocarbon And since then has never benzene.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady from Munich Who had an affair with...
There was a young lady from Munich Who had an affair with a eunuch. At the height of their passion He dealt her a ration From a squirt gun concealed in his tunic.

There was an old woman of Ghent Who swore that her cunt had...
There was an old woman of Ghent Who swore that her cunt had no scent. She got fucked so often At last she got rotten, And didn't she stink when she spent.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something...
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." -- Ronnie Shakes

The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each...
The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash