Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday May 25, 2023

Don't smoke the next cigarette. Repeat.
Don't smoke the next cigarette. Repeat.

Harry's bar has a new cocktail. It's called MRS punch. They...
Harry's bar has a new cocktail. It's called MRS punch. They make it with milk, rum and sugar and it's wonderful. The milk is for vitality and the sugar is for pep. They put in the rum so that people will know what to do with all that pep and vitality.

Having a wonderful wine, wish you were beer.
Having a wonderful wine, wish you were beer.

I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's...
I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's working on now.

It's useless to try to hold some people to anything they...
It's useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they're madly in love, drunk, or running for office.

Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best...
Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way they can. I'm sick of the job. It's a thankless one and full of grief. -- Al Capone