Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday July 28, 2024

There once was a monk of Camyre Who was seized with a carnal...
There once was a monk of Camyre Who was seized with a carnal desire And the primary cause Was the abbess's drawers Which were hung up to dry by the fire.

There was a young lady named Cager Who, as the result of...
There was a young lady named Cager Who, as the result of a wager, Consented to fart The entire oboe part Of Mozart's quartet in F major.

There was an old satyr named Mack Whose prick had a left handed...
There was an old satyr named Mack Whose prick had a left handed tack. If the ladies he loves Don't spin when he shoves, Their cervixes frequently crack.

There was an old whore from Silesia Who'd croke: "If...
There was an old whore from Silesia Who'd croke: "If my box doesn't please ya, For a slight extra sum You can go up my bum But watchout or my tapeworm'll seize ya."

There was an old whore in the Azores Whose body was covered...
There was an old whore in the Azores Whose body was covered with festers & sores. Why the dogs in the street Wouldn't eat the green meat That hung in festoons from her drawers.

There were three ladies of Huxham, And whenever we meets 'em...
There were three ladies of Huxham, And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em, And when that game grows stale We sits on a rail, And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.

There were three young ladies of Birmingham, And this is...
There were three young ladies of Birmingham, And this is the scandal concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And tickled the cock Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em. Now, the Bishop was nobody's fool, He'd been to a good public...

[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules...
[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. -- Joseph Campbell