Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2024

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have...
There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have only one ball. But the size of my prick Is God's dirtiest trick, For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"

... Now you're ready for the actual shopping. Your goal should...
... Now you're ready for the actual shopping. Your goal should be to get it over with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall public-address system,...

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies,...
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics. -- Disraeli

YOW!! Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!
YOW!! Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to...
A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police. -- Mr. Dooley

Aliquid melius quam pessimum optimum non est.
Aliquid melius quam pessimum optimum non est.

As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC...
As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality. One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly useful and interesting, I just had to share it. Answer each of the following items "true"...