Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of November, 2024

There was a young lady from Drew Who ended her verse at line...
There was a young lady from Drew Who ended her verse at line two.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will...
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -- Albert Einstein

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed...
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. -- George Bernard Shaw

Technological progress has merely provided us with more...
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. -- Aldous Huxley

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of...
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in...
Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills. Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max."

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what...
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school. These are the things...