Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday July 14, 2024

A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have...
A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play...

Every nonzero finite dimensional inner product space has...
Every nonzero finite dimensional inner product space has an orthonormal basis. It makes sense, when you don't think about it.

A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted...
A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club...

A boy scout troop went on a hike. Crossing over a stream,...
A boy scout troop went on a hike. Crossing over a stream, one of the boys dropped his wallet into the water. Suddenly a carp jumped, grabbed the wallet and tossed it to another carp. Then that carp passed it to another carp, and all over the river...

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond...
A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like the proverbial bat out of hell,...

A gambler's biggest thrill is winning a bet. His next biggest...
A gambler's biggest thrill is winning a bet. His next biggest thrill is losing a bet.

A new 'chutist had just jumped from the plane at 10,000 feet,...
A new 'chutist had just jumped from the plane at 10,000 feet, and soon discovered that all his lines were hopelessly tangled. At about 5,000 feet, still struggling, he noticed someone coming up from the ground at about the same speed as he was going...

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. -- Yogi...
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. -- Yogi Berra

A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such...
A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as "you could blow it in" may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to make a travesty of the game...