Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday August 28, 2021

There once was a fellow named Sweeney Who spilled gin all over...
There once was a fellow named Sweeney Who spilled gin all over his weenie. Not being uncouth, He added vermouth And slipped his amour a martini.

A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, for...
A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of...
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. -- Ogden Nash