Freebsd Fortunes 3

Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.
                -- Hunter S. Thompson

Fear is the greatest salesman.
                -- Robert Klein

feature, n:
        A surprising property of a program.  Occasionally documented.  To
        call a property a feature sometimes means the author did not
        consider that case, and the program makes an unexpected, though
        not necessarily wrong response.  See BUG.  "That's not a bug, it's
        a feature!"  A bug can be changed to a feature by documenting it.

Federal grants are offered for... research into the recreation
potential of interplanetary space travel for the culturally
disadvantaged.

Feel disillusioned?
I've got some great new illusions, right here!

Feeling amorous, she looked under the sheets and cried, "Oh, no,
it's Microsoft!"

Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadroped, carniverous by nature.
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predelection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
                -- Lt. Cmdr. Data, "An Ode to Spot"

Fellow programmer, greetings!  You are reading a letter which will bring
you luck and good fortune.  Just mail (or UUCP) ten copies of this letter
to ten of your friends.  Before you make the copies, send a chip or
other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of 'C' code to the first person on the
list given at the bottom of this letter.  Then delete their name and add
yours to the bottom of the list.

Don't break the chain!  Make the copy within 48 hours.  Gerald R. of San
Diego failed to send out his ten copies and woke the next morning to find
his job description changed to "COBOL programmer."  Fred A. of New York sent
out his ten copies and within a month had enough hardware and software to
build a Cray dedicated to playing Zork.  Martha H. of Chicago laughed at
this letter and broke the chain.  Shortly thereafter, a fire broke out in
her terminal and she now spends her days writing documentation for IBM PC's.

Don't break the chain!  Send out your ten copies today!

Female rabbits:
        The gift that just "keeps on giving."

FENDERBERG:
        The large glacial deposits that form on the insides
        of car fenders during snowstorms.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends