Freebsd Fortunes 3

Damn braces.
                -- William Blake, "Proverbs of Hell"

Damn, I need a Coke!
                -- Dr. William DeVries
                [after implanting the first artificial human heart]

DAMN IT, I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

Dark and lonely on a summer night
        Kill my landlord,
        Kill my landlord.
The watchdog barkin'
Do he bite?
        Kill my landlord,
        Kill my landlord.
Slip in his window.
Break his neck.
Then his house I start to wreck
Got no reason,
What the heck?
        Kill my landlord,
        Kill my landlord.
        C-I-L-L my landlord!
                -- "Images" by Tyrone Green, SNL

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the
opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
                -- Oliver Herford

Darth Vader!  Only you would be so bold!
                -- Princess Leia Organa

Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.

DATA:
        An accrual of straws on the backs of theories.

DATA:
        Computerspeak for "information".  Properly pronounced
        the way Bostonians pronounce the word for a female child.

David Letterman's "Things we can be proud of as Americans":

        * Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
        * Many newspapers feature "JUMBLE"
        * Hourly motel rates
        * Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
        * Didn't just give up right away during World War II
                like some countries we could mention
        * Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
        * Our well-behaved golf professionals
        * Fabulous babes coast to coast