Freebsd Fortunes 5

One Bell System - it used to work before they installed the Dimension!

One Bell System - it works.

One big pile is better than two little piles.
                -- Arlo Guthrie

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
                -- Helen Keller

One can search the brain with a microscope and not find the
mind, and can search the stars with a telescope and not find God.
                -- J. Gustav White

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing
how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.

One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast
to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists,
a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also
just stupid.
                -- J.D. Watson, "The Double Helix"

One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his
attic.  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke.
        "Greetings, Mortal!" exclaims the genie, stretching and yawning, "For
releasing me I will grant you three wishes."
        The old man thinks for a moment, then replies, "I want Genghis Khan
resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the Mongol hordes, march to the Polish
border, decide he doesn't want to invade, and march back home."
        "No sooner said than done!" thunders the genie.  "Your second wish?"
        "Hmmmm.  I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the
Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, decide he doesn't want to invade,
and march back home."
        "But...  well, all right!  Your third wish?"
        "I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite his ---"
        "OKOKOKOK!  Right.  Got it.  Why do you want Genghis Khan to march
to Poland three times and never invade?"
        The old man smiles.  "He has to pass through Russia six times."

One day President Reagan, Chairman Brezhnev, the Pope, and a boy scout were
flying together in an airplane.  Right out in the middle of nowhere the plane
developed engine trouble and started to go down.  Unfortunately, only three
parachutes could be found for the four passengers!  Brezhnev grabbed one of
the parachutes and declared "Comrades, as leader of the socialist workers
revolution, my life must be spared."  And he jumped out of the plane.  Then
Reagan exclaimed "As leader of the greatest nation on earth, I must keep the
world safe for democracy."  And with that he too jumped to safety.  Now if
you are following all this (or counting on your fingers) you must see that
there is only one parachute left for the two remaining passengers.  The Pope
looked kindly upon the boy scout and said "I have had a long and productive
life, my son.  You take the parachute and leave me in God's hands."  "That's
very kind of you," the observant scout replied, "but there is no need.  Reagan
just jumped out with my knapsack."