Freebsd Fortunes 5
fortune: 1051 - 1060 of 2298 from freebsd fortunes 5
Motd - Message of the Day
Humor, Quotes, Proverbs, Aphorisms... Ji Funda Jo Hai  
Daily Fortunes Feed Subscribe - Daily Fortunes - motd.ambians.com
Daily fortunes for your site
May 23, 2017
Motd Home     Daily Fortunes     Best of Fortunes     Worst of Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes 5

Fortune: 1051 - 1060 of 2298 from Freebsd Fortunes 5

Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1051 of 2298

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
                -- Helen Keller
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1052 of 2298

One can search the brain with a microscope and not find the
mind, and can search the stars with a telescope and not find God.
                -- J. Gustav White
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1053 of 2298

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing
how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1054 of 2298

One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1055 of 2298

One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast
to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists,
a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also
just stupid.
                -- J.D. Watson, "The Double Helix"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1056 of 2298

One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his
attic.  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke.
        "Greetings, Mortal!" exclaims the genie, stretching and yawning, "For
releasing me I will grant you three wishes."
        The old man thinks for a moment, then replies, "I want Genghis Khan
resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the Mongol hordes, march to the Polish
border, decide he doesn't want to invade, and march back home."
        "No sooner said than done!" thunders the genie.  "Your second wish?"
        "Hmmmm.  I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the
Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, decide he doesn't want to invade,
and march back home."
        "But...  well, all right!  Your third wish?"
        "I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite his ---"
        "OKOKOKOK!  Right.  Got it.  Why do you want Genghis Khan to march
to Poland three times and never invade?"
        The old man smiles.  "He has to pass through Russia six times."
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1057 of 2298

One day President Reagan, Chairman Brezhnev, the Pope, and a boy scout were
flying together in an airplane.  Right out in the middle of nowhere the plane
developed engine trouble and started to go down.  Unfortunately, only three
parachutes could be found for the four passengers!  Brezhnev grabbed one of
the parachutes and declared "Comrades, as leader of the socialist workers
revolution, my life must be spared."  And he jumped out of the plane.  Then
Reagan exclaimed "As leader of the greatest nation on earth, I must keep the
world safe for democracy."  And with that he too jumped to safety.  Now if
you are following all this (or counting on your fingers) you must see that
there is only one parachute left for the two remaining passengers.  The Pope
looked kindly upon the boy scout and said "I have had a long and productive
life, my son.  You take the parachute and leave me in God's hands."  "That's
very kind of you," the observant scout replied, "but there is no need.  Reagan
just jumped out with my knapsack."
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1058 of 2298

One day the King decided that he would force all his subjects to tell the
truth.  A gallows was erected in front of the city gates.  A herald announced,
"Whoever would enter the city must first answer the truth to a question
which will be put to him."  Nasrudin was first in line.  The captain of the
guard asked him, "Where are you going?  Tell the truth -- the alternative
is death by hanging."
        "I am going," said Nasrudin, "to be hanged on that gallows."
        "I don't believe you."
        "Very well, if I have told a lie, then hang me!"
        "But that would make it the truth!"
        "Exactly," said Nasrudin, "your truth."
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1059 of 2298

One day this guy is finally fed up with his middle-class existence and
decides to do something about it.  He calls up his best friend, who is a
mathematical genius.  "Look," he says, "do you suppose you could find some
way mathematically of guaranteeing winning at the race track?  We could
make a lot of money and retire and enjoy life."  The mathematician thinks
this over a bit and walks away mumbling to himself.
        A week later his friend drops by to ask the genius if he's had any
success.  The genius, looking a little bleary-eyed, replies, "Well, yes,
actually I do have an idea, and I'm reasonably sure that it will work, but
there a number of details to be figured out.
        After the second week the mathematician appears at his friend's house,
looking quite a bit rumpled, and announces, "I think I've got it! I still have
some of the theory to work out, but now I'm certain that I'm on the right
track."
        At the end of the third week the mathematician wakes his friend by
pounding on his door at three in the morning.  He has dark circles under his
eyes.  His hair hasn't been combed for many days.  He appears to be wearing
the same clothes as the last time.  He has several pencils sticking out from
behind his ears and an almost maniacal expression on his face.  "WE CAN DO
IT!  WE CAN DO IT!!" he shrieks. "I have discovered the perfect solution!!
And it's so EASY!  First, we assume that horses are perfect spheres in simple
harmonic motion..."
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1060 of 2298

One day,
A mad meta-poet,
With nothing to say,
Wrote a mad meta-poem
That started: "One day,
A mad meta-poet,
With nothing to say,
Wrote a mad meta-poem
That started: "One day,
[...]
sort of close".
Were the words that the poet,
Finally chose,
To bring his mad poem,
To some sort of close".
Were the words that the poet,
Finally chose,
To bring his mad poem,
To some sort of close".
« Prev Random Freebsd Fortunes 5   Next »
« Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47  48  49  50  51  52  53  54  55  56  57  58  59  60  61  62  63  64  65  66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  74  75  76  77  78  79  80  81  82  83  84  85  86  87  88  89  90  91  92  93  94  95  96  97  98  99  100  101  102  103  104  105  106  107  108  109  110  111  112  113  114  115  116  117  118  119  120  121  122  123  124  125  126  127  128  129  130  131  132  133  134  135  136  137  138  139  140  141  142  143  144  145  146  147  148  149  150  151  152  153  154  155  156  157  158  159  160  161  162  163  164  165  166  167  168  169  170  171  172  173  174  175  176  177  178  179  180  181  182  183  184  185  186  187  188  189  190  191  192  193  194  195  196  197  198  199  200  201  202  203  204  205  206  207  208  209  210  211  212  213  214  215  216  217  218  219  220  221  222  223  224  225  226  227  228  229  230  Next »
Search [help]

About  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Use  |  Privacy & Disclosure
FreeBsd Quotes  |  Linux Quotes