Freebsd Fortunes 5

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Paster Crosstalk:       What items are specifically mentioned by GOD as being
        unclean?  Now did you know... preying birds... praying mantises...
        All birds of prey, all carrion eaters, fish eaters -- no good, can't
        eat those.  Nothing that does not have both fins and scales.  Most
        CREEPING things...
Alvarado:       How 'bout caterpillars?
P:      A caterpillar doesn't have a backbone.  Nothing without a backbone
        can get in.
A:      How do you know?  You char a caterpillar, it gets real stiff!
P:      Well, I don't think that the Lord meant us to eat CHARRED
        CATERPILLARS!
[...]
P:      The hog, the squirrel... little squirrels.  Who would want to eat
        a LITTLE SQUIRREL?
A:      If you're starving.  If you're starving in the park one day.
P:      You'd probably just CHAR 'em to get 'em stiff, wouldn't ya?
A:      No, you SINGE 'em.  You SINGE 'em and eat 'em.  *I* read about the
        Donner Pass, I know what man does when he's hungry.
P:      Squirrels eating squirrels -- my GOD, that's sick!
A:      That's sick, SURE.  But a MAN eating a squirrel -- that's (heh, heh)
        par for the course, Charlie.
                -- Firesign Theatre

Patch griefs with proverbs.
                -- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"

patent:
        A method of publicizing inventions so others can copy them.

"Pathetic," he said.  "That's what it is.  Pathetic."
(crosses stream)
"As I thought," he said, "no better from *this* side."
                -- Eyeore

Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, on qualifiers

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
                -- Titus Maccius Plautus

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
                -- S. Johnson, "The Life of Samuel Johnson" by J. Boswell

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last
resort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but
inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

When Dr. Johnson defined patriotism as the last refuge of a scoundrel,
he ignored the enormous possibilities of the word reform.
                -- Sen. Roscoe Conkling

Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
                -- Boies Penrose

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
                -- Oscar Wilde